Pursuit

Hi,

Today I made an effort to wake up early! Headed to the gym in the morning for around an hour, before going to kbox with my friends. Pretty fruitful I must say :)

But soon it was 6pm and I could feel the depression sinking in again - it always happens at night. I felt the urge to speak to Mike. I smsed him the night before but he hasn't replied. Is he angry with me again? Did I do something wrong? Maybe he caught me going to his house secretly again? But he doesn't live there anymore? I don't know. I'm afraid. Pls don't ignore me Mike. I'm so sorry but I have really been trying to listen to your instructions, but I still need some allowance to make the adjustments. I really wanna just see him and know him more as a friend, I need the chance to sit down and just have a good chat with him. I hope that day comes soon :(

Should I sms him again tomorrow? I don't know T.T I'm afraid he'll think i'm being irritating. Argh. Today I hanged out with a guy from 8pm till about midnight at town. Just dinner and some drinks. I tried to open up myself but it didn't work. It went on fine initially, I was laughing and we were just enjoying each other's company. But after a while, my emotions just came back. I knew that I wanted Mike to be the one there with me. Not this person. And soon my level of excitement kind of just dropped and I believe the guy felt it too. We took separate cab homes at around 1am. I broke down instantaneously and just cried in the cab. I hope the taxi uncle didn't notice. I missed Mike. I cried and blamed myself for being so useless once again.

Why... Why am I feeling this way. Why did Mike leave such an impeccable impression on me. Its killing me from within. The feeling is so so strong.. Mike.. Please don't ignore me...

-Werd