Hello again. Its 3:12am and its 3hours into Christmas already! Probably the season that I can't wait for to arrive every year. My birthday was today as well, actually it was yesterday, the 24th.

The day did not start out very well. I had a dream about working, and it wasn't pleasant. I was kinda happy I woke up from it, but I know that the reality of working will befall me sooner or later, especially if I decide to graduate after the coming Semester. I couldn't help but worry about the question again: study more or enter the workforce?

But that aside, waking up in the cold gloomy rainy weather made me feel a little depressed and lonely. I thought of Mike again, how nice it would be if I could wake up in his arms and cuddle and have a nice morning chat. Extremely unhealthy thoughts, but I shall be truthful here and that was what I was thinking of at that very instant. I knew I was missing him again, I seriously think about him all the time. In the semi depressed state I did not know what to do, I had no activities planned for the day, my birthday party cum christmas gathering only starts at around 6pm. This is bad as when I have nothing on I only think of Mike and I get all sad and moody. I decided to get out of the house and do some shopping alone to keep my mind occupied till then.

I made my way to parkway parade for lunch first. Guess where I stopped by first? I popped by Dome Cafe to reminisce the afternoon tea I had there with Mike on our 2nd meeting. I was hoping he would be there once again, reading his book and enjoying a cuppa. But I knew that was wishful thinking, why would he be there alone on a Christmas Eve? And as very expected, he was obviously nowhere to be seen. I then went to Yoshinoya for lunch, eating my favourite student saver meal, which was pretty cheap and good. Soon after, I walked around Parkway a little more, but it was getting kinda boring and so I left, and made my way to Katong 112, the new mall.

I have never been there. I was a little excited. The mall turned out pretty nice, much better than Nex at least, which is seriously messy! I entered a soft toy shop and bought myself a stuffed porcupine which was super duper freaking cute. If only Mike gave me one for my Christmas right? haha, I would certainly love it as much as I love him. Then after, I decided to shop for a gift for my Christmas gathering on Monday. I had absolutely no idea what to buy! I went into this shop and it was filled with stuff that way exceeded the budget, or kinky/drinking games items like Kama Sutra dice?? No way i'm getting that for my friends omg, what if a girl gets it. Haha. Hmm, saw this happy therapy ball that said "come to me when you are in despair and I will answer all your questions". I thought it was kinda cute, but maybe only I could relate to it, as you know I was in a pretty depressed state. Hence I dropped the idea of getting it for others, the only way I'm getting it is if i'm giving it to myself, but it was a little pricey. Eventually, I ended up getting hair dye as a present, yeah an idea from my other friend. I do hope she does not get it during the exchange :\ Next I went to GongCha and got my favourite drink(s), taro milk and normal milk tea without pearl, for my indulgence later in the day. Then it was time to head home. I was feeling a little better, but of course the entire time I was thinking that it would be so awesome if it could be Mike accompanying me during the day, spending my birthday with me :(

I went home and took a little nap. The sound of relatives coming into the house woke me up, and I was feeling very very moody. I felt like crying, I was missing him again. BUT I PROMISED HIM I WILL KEEP MY WORD TO RULE #3. I decided to head to the toilet to regroup my emotions. I went under the showerhead and cried out, and told myself that I have to be strong, and be emotionally stable to socialize and be welcoming to my relatives. It took me 15mins, and after crying I felt better. After a nice warm shower I decided to head out to greet my relatives.
It turned out pretty well, I managed to keep a smile and talk to my cousins and uncles/aunties that I haven't seen for weeks or months to catch up on each other's lives. It was an awesome party actually. The nephews/nieces that were present were extremely cute and well behaved! They made me smile a lot. I left Mike at the back of my head for a while and did my best to enjoy the party, and have a wonderful birthday/christmas party. I succeeded in rule #3, as promised to Mike! :)

Soon everyone left, and I opened my presents, though mostly angbaos. The gifts were good, but obviously the excitement depreciates every year as I grow older. I guess it just gets harder to get gifts for people when they grow up, as compared to when I was a kid :) But it actually isn't hard to make me happy with a gift, as long as it is something cute like a collectible or shiny like Swarvoski? Yar I have a thing for super nice crystals! Nice clothings would be a good too, but I guess its hard to buy clothes for others!

Anyway, now I'm all alone once again. My family is asleep and its just me having some time for myself on this peaceful Christmas night. I still miss Mike. Sigh.. Smsed him a Merry Xmas the minute the clock struck 12 but there was no reply :( Maybe he's asleep.. or spending Xmas with someone else? (AHHH.. the thought of it makes my heart drop) OKOK.. don't think about it. I just hope he at least replies me to wish me back or something, am sure that would make me contented and happy at least for a while. I really do hope to see him soon. I miss him a lot and I wanna talk to him. I hope he had/will be having a nice Christmas celebration with his close friends or family (he really loves his nephews a lot!). It has been 23years of my life, and my dream christmas is to be with the person I love (Mike?), sitting by a christmas tree, enjoying each other's company and probably a nice cup of warm hot chocolate. After that I would just wanna sleep in his arms, all the way till the Christmas morning. How nice would that be :((

OK. enough talking its time for me to sign off. I will be back soon. In the meantime I wish Mike a super merry xmas, and I would try to enjoy this festive season as well and abide by his rules. I am not a fool, and I still strongly believe Mike is my gold.

-Werd