Hello hello! Today is Christmas Day itself. I had nothing planned at all the entire day. Gahh, as usual I woke up feeling empty again, and I was thinking about Mike. I actually woke up at around 11am, and first thing I did was to check my phone, to see if Mike replied my message. I was a little disappointed to see no reply at first, but I already told myself that I just wanted to wish him a merry xmas from the bottom of my heart, and that I'm not doing it for the sake of getting a reply from him as much as I wished that it would be an opportunity for us to exchange messages.

I wanted to continue drowning myself in slumber but I couldn't get back to sleep as much as I wanted to. I tossed for a while and decided to get up to get the day started. I was just doing the usual, using the computer, surfing the net for awhile. Then I decided I have to leave the house. As I left the house, Mike replied me a merry xmas as well! I was overwhelmed and happy. I was tempted to keep the conversation going by asking him how he spent his xmas but I was afraid he would think that I am asking too much and hence I dropped the idea :( I hope he did not spend it with some other person :'( omg dont think dont think!! :'((

Anyway, I was expecting a lonely lonely christmas day by myself but thankfully it did not happen! I made my way to Plaza Singapura's starbucks for a light snack and a coffee to start the day off. Suddenly, a stranger came and ask if he could sit with me as the place was pretty crowded. After a few instances of awkward silences, we began chatting and we actually chatted for 3 whole hours! Apparently he was a law student studying at the University of Manchester, and was concurrently doing a psychology major in NUS as well. i was like WOW. omg. and i'm just an accountant. haha. However, the conversation progressed as he shared with me his familial problems, and how he hasn't been back home for 4 years. I kinda felt sorry for him, there were some other details he told me that I shouldn't post them here. He was even involved in a near death experience - a car crash. I was like wow- he's life was so intriguing. In fact, he was actually a national badminton team player who is apparently a pretty high flyer. He has actually even had pictures taken with the Queen and King of Kelantan or something? Woww and I'm actually talking to this person so randomly and out of the blue on a expected lonely christmas. What more could I ask for. We exchanged contacts after and we even had a fruitful whatsapp conversation throughout the rest of the day. What a nice new friend :)

Went for dinner with my family later before heading home. I did the usual after, playing computer games and then finally ending the day with a fruitful video conference with my friend who was overseas. Gahh I felt better.

But now once again, its the lonely night and my pre-sleep moodiness. It happens every night. Its the time i take to self reflect and ask myself what do I actually want? Why am I feeling so empty? And that is why I'm actually writing this blog, to keep myself occupied so avoid the issue, because I know there can only be 1 answer but its wrong to feel that way and I know it. Its simply irrational. I am still thinking of Mike. I do hope to really see him soon.. I miss him a lot :'( Its going to be a cold lonely night to sleep again.. I hope i get to sleep really fast.. Talk to you tomorrow again!

-Werd